I’m not sure what’s kept me from writing for so long, maybe just writers block or perhaps I felt a bit of a social conscience that I’d managed to somehow turn into the writer I never wanted to be. In scribing witty anecdotes about selfish parkers, I may have inadvertently caused uninvited judgement or offence to the frazzled mother who was already having a bad day….or maybe I am just acutely aware that I am one of thousands of others blogging about the trials and tribulations of motherhood and perhaps what I have to offer isn’t really that different or interesting.
Yet now I feel compelled to write, and in doing so dedicate this to my beloved middle brother who has entitled me a ‘corona deny-er’, and also to the people out there who I may have unwittingly portrayed myself to as being blase and uncaring about this awful situation that we all find ourselves in….
I have been in nursing for nearly 20 yrs and unlike many of my peers who I qualified with that are now in positions of seniority or education, I remain a band 5, a staff nurse. The reasons for this are that I still love the bare bones of my job, the hands on nursing care, taking obs, wiping bums, washing faces and doing dressings amongst other things, but also because I have floated between jobs and worked in many different areas instead of choosing just one that I have become specialised in. In choosing this path, I have nursed patients from all ends of the spectrum. Babies born at 24wks gestation that have fought on to survive their prematurity, babies born at a healthy term date that sadly have not. Women in their 30’s dying of cancer, 98 year olds following a stringent rehab programme prior to their discharge home. Surgical patients, medical patients, end of life patients, people with broken bones or infected urine, flu, pancreatitis, renal failure, dementia, the list is endless, you name it and at some stage I’ve probably nursed it. Does that make me an expert in all these areas, most certainly not. Does it help me maintain calm and rational thinking against all odds, absolutely.
When Coronavirus first appeared on our radar, I took note with interest and cautious trepidation, but largely disregarded it as just another health scare, similar to that of bird flu and ebola. An awful disease that would affect the few seriously and the majority barely. As it progressed I remained stoic in my resolve that although it was causing fatalities and making people unwell, it was still not deserving of the media circus surrounding it. As the infection control nurse in my area, I am all to aware of the alarming statistics of fatalities caused by sepsis and illnesses such as seasonal flu which are still set to proceed those of coronavirus when it hits its peak. What I had totally underestimated was the speed and force in which it would hit the world and our total lack of preparation for it.
I now stand humbled by and fearful of it. This awful and frightening curse that seems to have taken over the entire world and though at the moment causes relatively minor symptoms for the majority, is still affecting each and everyone of us in its own way. At the start of this week I was bemoaning the effects social distance was going to have on me as I live for coffee’s and going running with friends and taking my children out and about. The idea of having to stay confined to my house for indefinite periods of time and god forbid, homeschool my children quite literally filled me with dread. I now want to protectively wrap my arms around my family and never open the door again.
I went to work yesterday where I found myself to be nurse in charge and responsible for a lady who had been deployed from an outpatients setting to come and work with us, she had no uniform or up to date training for working on our ward and yet had to be thrown in at the deep end, nursing a ward of patients who all fall into the high risk category for catching the virus. We are a community hospital who last year had half of our beds closed and the staffing cuts made to match it. Tomorrow these 10 beds are to be reopened but alas our staffing levels are unlikely to be reflected in this due to the pressures already faced in the NHS. We do not yet have all the appropriate protective equipment as the government are still in the process of rolling it out and we will all be asked to work additional hours, which we will all do unquestionably because it is our bread and butter and after all, this is what made us all want to be nurses in the first place, to care for the sick and the vulnerable. Will we be stretched? Of course. Will we be appreciated for it? Definitely. Will we be terrified? Absolutely. Will we show it? Probably not.
I haven’t written this because I want floods of praise and appreciation for what we all do, I feel there has been plenty of that in the media at the moment for which I feel extremely humbled and proud, but also am acutely aware that we are all in this together and that this appreciation is also deserving of the teachers who are keeping schools open for vulnerable children and those of key workers, the retail assistants working under extreme pressures in our supermarkets, the delivery drivers, the pharmacists….everyone who is keeping on despite the challenges we’re all facing. I am however writing this as a bit of a plea to the ignorant and the selfish. The panic buyers and the people who are using this as an opportunity to take a nice jolly to the countryside not only not appreciating the fact that if they were to get sick that they would be placing additional strain on the already overstretched local health services set up really only to provide safely for the permanent residents of the area, but also that it really does defeat the object of social distancing. PLEASE lets all be mindful and kind in all this….its the only chance we stand of fighting it.
So I guess I’ll leave it there…sending all the love and best wishes to all who may read this…stay safe and stay sensible…xx
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It's a mums life. 