So there is something that happens when a bump or child is spotted, ALL the rest of the world are apparently experts, or at least know someone who is! Whether in a supermarket queue or at work or simply walking down the street, there is always ‘that’ person just dying to pass their wisdom onto you, usually at your most frazzled moment! This page is not intended to be that! (Tho’ I’m sure my expectant brother and sister in law may find that amusing coming from me, as I spent a recent evening round at their house starting every conversation with the words, “its only my opinion but…” or “when I was pregnant I found…” I clearly too am guilty of being one of ‘those’!) These are just a few coping mechanisms or ideas that I have used and found useful…if you like them, or choose to use any of them, then great, but never let it be said that Lottie AB is advising you…..!!!!
MARMITE!!!: Yup! Love it or loathe it, someone suggested I try it in my sicky days, something to do with the vitamin B12 or something…I was totally skeptical but found it did really help the nausea…honestly! I dare you to try it…
DIORALYTE: Usually used when you’ve had the runs but helps restore your depleted electrolytes that you lose after profuse vomiting. I was a day away from being admitted to hospital for IV fluids when my Gp suggested I try it, and it really helped. I was still vomming my guts up, not least cos it tastes so vile, but I felt nowhere near as lethargic and my Bp, that had been very low, came up a bit.
ASK SOMEONE TO SHOW YOU HOW TO USE THE GAS AND AIR!!: I was handed the marvellous tube before I really needed it and was told to ‘have a play with it’, no-one explained I was meant to use it sparingly and come up for air (As a qualified nurse, a lot of assumptions are made about your knowledge, people forget that you’re also a human in a new situation who had probably only had a 10 min lecture on it years ago!) so there I was merrily puffing away on it like the proverbial pipe, until I heard the voice coming from the clown at the bottom of my now floating bed shout that someone needed to take it away from me. After Max had managed to physically wrestle it out of my hand, I came down to earth with a painful bang and promptly threw up a colourful skittle rainbow (Someone had advised me to eat those too, for quick energy, that advice I was very happy to take quite literally, not sure they meant the whole king size bag…!) all over myself. I then had to manage the most painful pushing (a concrete netball!) bit without any sodding pain relief as I was joyously told that it was far too late for pain relief now……..
THE CONCEPT OF OVER CUDDLING YOUR BABY IS BULLSHIT!: Ooohh, my particular favourite and something I used to try and impart on all my mummies when I worked on SCBU. You cannot over cuddle your baby!!!! They are tiny little vulnerable humans that have been in the warmth and security of your belly for 9months listening to you and feeling your heartbeat. This world is enormous! The moses basket is huge! Give them all the cuddles! Its such a short lived precious time. It is utter bollocks that it makes them too dependant on you! On the contrary I would argue that it makes them more independant as it gives them the assurance that you are there! Enjoy the cuddles! Honestly, at the time it feels like forever, but blink and its past. There is so much research based science on the benefits of skin to skin for newborns, I wander why anyone would ever try to advise you differently. (Not that I’m advising of course…more preaching by this stage!!)
THE MOSES BASKET: My nemesis! Oh how I tried and tried and tried to get all mine to settle in it, it took weeks of perseverance, I’m not sure I entirely ever did use it as much as others but I did find it helped to use one of Max’s t-shirts in lieu of a sheet. Not my own as they identified it with wanting to feed. I was told by my midwife that the familiar smell would help soothe them. I’d also pop a hot water bottle in to warm the cot, obviously removing it before they went in. I found mine settled better in their pram as it was a smaller more cocooned space and a lot darker.
THE SLING: I swore by mine! I had two, a very simple soft one and a proper baby carrier. Both max and I loved them. They are easy, you have free hands, babies love them, it was my fall back method for getting them to sleep and do the hoovering! I could also doze myself with her strapped to me and me sitting in a comfy chair with my feet up! Lovely!
SKIN TO SKIN: I know I touched on it earlier but I cannot emphasize its value enough. I remember one particularly frenetic day when Lucy had her first jabs, she would not settle at all, we tried it all. After a full hour of unbroken crying, I stripped her to her nappy, stripped off myself and then wrapped us both in my dressing gown and walked up and down the garden. She settled immediately. I still use it on Bella now on the odd occasion and she’s 5.
WEANING: I didn’t bother with jars at any point! I initially offered pureed cooked fruit and veg mixed in with baby rice, but then after about 4 wks, just blended down whatever Max and I were having. We eat a reasonably varied, nutritious diet and all of mine ate everything and anything put in front of them ( at least until they started school and learnt to be picky buggers!) A lot of my friends that stuck rigidly to ‘baby food’, no seasonings etc, have had real problems with getting their children to eat properly. I will say one thing tho, my most neurotic new mum moments were introducing peanuts! Lord knows why! Too many anaphalaxis study days maybe, so at 6mths old, I took all 3 of my babies for a picnic in the nice park opposite the A&E dept and fed them peanut butter sandwiches, safe in the knowledge their was a crash trolley 10ft away!!!!! I’m also cynical about baby led weaning, I have seen too many choking incidences and often wander why anyone would wish to offer a hard object to a baby with no teeth…but that really is just a matter of opinion and know a lot of people who swear by it! Interestingly tho, and much to the mortification of our now 5, 8 and 11 year old girls, me and my paramedic friend still quarter our grapes… the drawback or maybe saviour of being a healthcare professional…we know too much!
SLEEPLESS NIGHTS: I still shudder at the mere thought, singly the hardest thing to deal with in new parenting is the utter misery and despair of sleep deprivation. We tried everything from late night walks with the pram to controlled crying and nothing really worked, just the passing of time and their maturity. The only thing I can say here is that I found it really helped to have the radio on, specifically the radio as it reminds you that you are not the only people in the world that are still awake, the DJ’s soothing banter became strangely comforting! I found TV too overstimulating and social media too irritating! I also found playing soft music in their bedrooms and dimmed night light helped eventually. Bella still has one now.
POTTY TRAINING: Don’t rush it! Honestly! It really isn’t worth the hassle! I have spent so many days out watching friends traipsing around with a potty in their bag trying to beg, bribe and cajole their child into using it who clearly wasn’t ready! After going through similar with Esme when she got to the age of 2 and I felt I should, I soon abandoned it and waited til she was ready! One morning soon after she announced that she wasn’t going to wear nappies any more, put on some knickers and off she went without looking back! She only had two accidents in the first couple of days. I’ve just shown my younger two the potty and read stories to them about it (princess polly was a winner!) and then let them instigate it! Took all the pressure and anxiety out of the process!
SENDING A KISS TO PLAYGROUP/SCHOOL: The girls all struggled being left, the younger two more than Esme, I found it really stressful, as much as I knew they’d soon settle, I still found it hard to leave them like that. One day while kissing Esme goodbye, I had the idea to draw a kiss on a bit of paper and stick it in her pocket for if she needed one later! It really helped as more than anything provided a distraction and it certainly made me feel a lot better!
Prophylactic Cream: Unfortunately for all my children, particularly Lucy who is a complete hypochondriac, I am a nurse and therefore not gushing with sympathy when it comes to bumps and grazes! What I did soon discover tho’,was that it it is amazing what a bit of magic cream does for all ill’s! I have a tube of E45 and apply it liberally to anything I see fit and it works an absolute treat as they all then parade dramatically around the house showing off their now well moisturised injury to anyone who’ll listen!
PASTA SAUCE!: I discovered this by accident after having literally nothing in other than a bag of pasta and some left over ratatouille in the fridge, a dish I never even bother to offer them as it contains aubergines (imagine!) and courgettes (not a chance!) among other things! So I blended it down and stirred it into cooked pasta, telling them it was a tomato sauce and they wolfed it down!! Its worked with other things too! The mistake I made however, was recently in a smug mummy moment, not being able to resist the temptation to brag about my cleverness. Shot myself in the foot there as they now treat all food with suspicion!!
PUT A CATCHY TUNE TO SOMETHING THEY NEED TO LEARN: Within reason obviously! I started doing this when trying to teach Lucy how to spell her name, we sang it to the tune of B-I-N-G-O! We had to lengthen the sound of the C a bit but it worked a treat and she learnt it within a day or too, we now use it to help with spelling tests, play lines etc and I downloaded a musical times table album which has been fab and was how I learnt my tables growing up too! (I can still remember the melodys to most of them now!)
AVOID TABOO’S: So we’ve all been followed into the loo while needing to change a tampax. (The ultimate dream of all new parents I think is to be able to pee in peace!) When the girls first starting asking me about it, I’d shy away from the subject by trying to distract them but then I thought, why bother?! So I told them about periods! As a result they’ve grown up knowing about the subject, which has really helped as its now not an issue to them at all, we’ve had a similar approach with explaining about sex, death, alcohol etc…We’ve found by answering any questions when asked, honestly, obviously using age appropropriate references and terminology (We didn’t sit them down in front of a porn film with a pointing stick!!), it’s resulted in removing any stigma or anxiety from some areas that a lot of people have difficulty discussing.
It's a mums life. 