My instructions from Max when we moved here were very simple. Don’t make eye contact with anyone and keep your head down. You see Max knows I am that person. The one that can’t say no…
It really started at playgroup to be honest, our community group was run by a volunteer committee and not knowing this, I unsuspectingly trotted along to my first parent’s evening where there was a promise of wine and cheese, how civilised I thought, they really know how to host a parents evening in the lovely country…of course behind the delicious treats, was a very nice and glamorous yummy mummy who after explaining how busy she was juggling her work with running playgroup, made the inevitable plea for additional help! What harm, I thought! I can handle a newsletter or two, it’ll be fun and more importantly knowing how crap my IT skills are, I can rope Max in to helping me and take the credit for being a very helpful and community spirited Mummy indeed! 4 years, 50 meetings, lots of minute taking and letter writing, cake stalling, float decorating, helping out when staffing was short later, I resigned from my role as secretary on the committee and was actually very sad to do it, as despite the hours, I made some really lovely friends and it was a sign my babies had grown into the next stage….
Which leads me on to school…so again, failing to take Max’s advice, I was quickly drawn into joining the PTA at Esme’s school. They saw me coming. Anxious parent, new to the area, part time worker…(‘cos obviously part time workers have ALL the spare time) So there I was innocently wandering down to the school gate, relishing the opportunity to go home and have that first blissful morning when you have all children suitably dropped off in their respective educational environments and can blitz the house, do the weekly shop, have a wee and shower unfollowed and then if you’re lucky squeeze in a cup of coffee that you may actually get while still hot…when I was pounced on by a bouncy lady with swishy hair who asked me in her sing songy voice if I would like to come along to one of their ‘meetings’ as it was a great way of getting to know people and finding out about what schools all about…she was clever, she had learnt Esme’s name and made me feel like I had been especially selected, the ‘chosen one’…so of course as the eternal pleaser of all people I replied that yes, I would love nothing more than to join them at their meeting as after all I did not need to live in a tidy house and nor did we need to eat, so off I trotted like the proverbial good Mummy I am….
The reality of this meeting was that the 4 people that actually made up the full PTA ( In a school of about 60 families! ), were completely pissed off and disillusioned and were desperate to find ANYONE to take over from them so they could run to the hill’s and never look back! So myself and 2 other parents cautiously took over the reigns, not knowing then how utterly demoralising and thankless it was going to be!! The problem is, unlike me, people see you coming! You seem to walk around with an invisible sign on your head telling people who you are, what you do and to swiftly avoid eye contact and look very busy and important! But, for a year, the 3 of us persevered and were able to run a couple of really lovely events and it was all worth it, purely for the children’s faces when we did! And thats why I do it, for no other reason really! After a year, the school were sadly also facing other issues at the time resulting in a significant drop in numbers so the PTA had to fold. I carried on tho, I was determined to keep up some of the traditions that had been established that the children had learnt to look forward to, so with the help of a couple of other Mums we were able to at least do something! The head kept hopefully asking if I’d be able to restart it officially but I was firm while I still had children at playgroup and was already committed to my role there!
Of course the day came when Bella started school and I therefore had all 3 of my girls there and that coupled with a new enthusiastic headteacher and the steady rise of pupils on the role, I knew I had exhausted all of my previous excuses and agreed to help the school relaunch a PTFA.
So I am now officially that woman in the playground that you all avoid! The Chair! Traditionally uber glamorous, overpowering, shouty and with a clipboard…the difference with me ( I hope! ) is that I know what its like to be harranged, pestered and swooped upon so hopefully I don’t come across all that badly, and I am most definitely not a yummy or bossy or sing songy mummy, I’m just quite a normal one who is now lucky enough to have a lovely committee of other normal parents to arrange some really lovely, fun things for you and your children! We don’t all totter around the playground flirting with all the daddies and talking loudly about how great we are, we just get on with it, have as many meetings in the pub as possible and try and raise a bit of cash for our lovely school!
Suffice to say that in our first visit to Esme’s secondary school, Max immediately sensed the swooper and steered me unceremoniously in the opposite direction…..
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