I absolutely LOVE being a Mum, and honestly do like my children! I know how lucky I am to have them and am also fortunate enough to be able to work flexibly around them, I have a supportive husband and a great friendship network…living the dream eh?! But MY GOD IT’S HARD WORK! And over the years I have become ok with admitting that to myself! I used to feel that it must make me a terrible mother to think that but now I’m more realistic about it. I also think there has been a shift in society that has helped, in the wave of Mummy blogging, its becoming more acceptable to be the frazzled Mum with her unwashed hair scraped back and weetabix stuck to her shoulder, forgetting homework projects and drinking gin midweek! It’s ok not to be perfect…these are just a few of the habits I have adopted over the years to help maintain my sanity and keep my identity…
Radio One: Seriously!! I know it sounds like the most ridiculous thing. When I mortifyingly discovered I was no longer considered to be in their desired age demographic (Sob!), I did try to grow up and listen to Radio 2 but I couldn’t stick with it. I don’t know if it’s some tragic way of me trying to cling on to my youth or keep me ‘down with the kids’ ( ooh the irony! ), but I love it! Max finds it hilarious/sad that I can recount the schedule and am able to tell him if Clara Amfo is on holiday, or I know what time it is purely because Dev and Alice are on! And it probably is a bit! But I don’t care! Half the time I only listen sub-consciously and admittedly some of the new ‘music’ can be questionable, I often hear my mothers words coming out of my mouth when I hear a 90’s classic desecrated by some DJ I’ve never heard of and who was probably still in nappies when it first came out, but generally I find it good company when I’m doing housework or trying to block out the sound of squabbling children! Its on my level and there is nothing complicated about it! Great escapism!
Running: Growing up, I was the least athletic person you could imagine! I lacked co-ordination and stamina and more astutely, interest. I remember my housemates at uni trying to get me into it and being genuinely surprised when I couldn’t even make it round the corner! After I’d had Bella tho, I decided to try and get fit! My 30’s body was not quite as forgiving as my 20’s one and my jeans were getting beyond skinny! I’d dabbled with gyms in the past but I’m a bit extreme, I either commit 100% to something and therefore have to maintain it daily, or I don’t. There is no in-between, so more often than not I didn’t! When my sister started using the ‘couch to 5k’ running app, I thought I’d give it a try and really surprised myself that I slowly but steadily managed to teach myself to run! I still wouldn’t consider myself to be very good at it! I did a couple of half marathon’s for charity and to prove to myself that I could, but I got crap times and hated the distance, it took the pleasure out of it for me. I now try and go for half an hour 2 or 3 times a week and find it really cathartic, if not still hard work! I find its great thinking time and a great way of relieving tension too, if I’m ever in a shitty mood, it usually gets me out of it. I think its good for the girls to see me doing it too.
Friends: The family we choose for ourselves. So true! Inevitably friendships change and develop over the course of our lives, I’m still lucky enough to have my best friend from school who has been there with me through everything and we know each other better than anyone I should imagine despite the fact we now live 100’s of miles apart. Then there are the friends I made at uni, fellow nurses and other people I met along the way with whom I will always keep in touch as we shared so many experiences together, and finally there are the Mummy friends! It’s with the latter that I spend the most time as our lives are pretty much intertwined! We obviously all share common ground but also there is an honesty in Mummy friends that is unlike any other relationship, whether its over a coffee, on a dog walk or passing other in the street, our conversations span topics from nits, to ‘that’ teacher, to periods, to when our husbands are going to have the bloody snip, to what we’re cooking for tea and where the best deal on gin is right now! There are literally no boundaries, I guess we’re all in the same boat and have a mutual support for each other. They’re also the people that can be called on for emergency childcare cover and I love the relationship we all have with each others children, my girls have about 4 ‘other mummies’ and I have loads of ‘extra children’! I would find ‘Mummying’ a lot harder without them.
Gin: Or wine, rum, prosecco…haha! Ironically I’m not actually a big drinker and am often found heading to be kettle for a mid evening brew halfway through the evening, but my god, when you’ve had a ‘bit of a day’, there is nothing quite like that first glorious sip of a cold G&T. Nuff said!
Date Night: It take’s such a lot of effort to make time for each other but if we don’t, we just end up either bickering all the time or not speaking. As unfortunately we don’t have a ready supply of babysitters, we’ve taken to having most of our date nights in, but just by doing that, we seem to function better as parents. The girls all know to leave us to it and Max generally cooks something delicious that the they would turn their noses up at! We slurp a bit to much wine and invariably end up falling asleep in front of a film, but just that couple of hours a week allows us to remember we’re still husband and wife and not just Mummy and Daddy.
Work: I stopped nursing for a couple of years when I had two of them at home, it was lovely time that I was fortunate to have, but I was ready to go back to it. Not just the opportunity to function in the adult world and earn money, it allows me to be the me I was a long time before I met Max and had children. I can pretty much switch off for the 8hrs I’m there and focus on doing my job that day! I also get to drink hot coffee and have 30mins to have my lunch, something I seldom manage on days off as there is always something more important to do instead. The biggest challenge with work is fitting it in to family life!
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It's a mums life. 